Being Bodil

My Monster Status

Posted on the 19th of September 2007 at 17:07 by Bodil

Following up on the post-laser situation: I woke up quite unblemished yesterday, but pimples, or whatever one should call them, started appearing in the evening. Only a few, maybe about twenty, have developed so far, which is considerably better than what the full outbreak was like. I look no worse today than the average junk food eater. They’re still popping up, but it seems to be lessening. Probably going to be back to normal in a day or two. I got off easy.

Well, OK, most people don’t have anywhere near this kind of reaction to laser hair removal; I still got off easy compared to the first time.

Laser Beams

Posted on the 17th of September 2007 at 23:51 by Bodil

It’s been a while. I’ve been male for two weeks straight, and it’s been painful, but I’ve been stricken with a cold, and right now my nose is so runny there’s no makeup in the world that would last more than ten minutes under its mucous onslaught. It’s starting to clear up, though, and it had better, because this coming weekend is going to be a big one, with reckless shopping on Friday and wild partying on Saturday.

It might, therefore, have been a bad idea to have had laser hair removal today. I spent the better part of half an hour having my face shot at with laser beams, writhing and flailing in excruciating pain, which really isn’t the big deal I make it sound like. The problem usually comes later–the first two times I had this done, I spent the next several days looking like the most horrendously acne-stricken teenager you could imagine, with parts of my face swollen to bizarre proportions. The third time, eerily, everything was perfectly fine, with the exception that my beard grew annoyingly fast for a week before it started falling out–any makeup I’d apply to cover it would be penetrated in a matter of very few hours.

So, I don’t know what I’m going to wake up to tomorrow. It feels fine now, but the monster could still come out overnight, potentially ruining my weekend entirely. This time, I wouldn’t even have the option of skulking in my lair until it passes; there are three days of non-optional office time before the big weekend.

Well, it feels fine, even better than last time. I’ll just go to bed assuming it’s going to be a non-issue in the morning and a beardless face by the weekend, thank you ever so much.

It's Out

Posted on the 2nd of September 2007 at 19:21 by Bodil

Dear diary,

I went to this big social gathering thing with my colleagues this Friday, in boy mode, and predictably enough, when I got sufficiently drunk, I started talking. So now most of them are aware of the Bodil situation. The general response was “yeah, we’d sort of guessed already,” which, I suppose, is good, in a way. A few actually did know–I got the job through a friend who was already aware of it, and apparently he’d dropped a few hints, which I’d sort of suspected anyway. So that’s over and done with, and although I expect some people will treat me a little differently after the fact (though not negatively, just… differently), I think it went pretty well.

I woke up Saturday morning with a hangover unlike anything you’d believe, which is not the best time to be invited to another party. So obviously I was. I still somehow managed to find the energy to spend three hours shaving and putting on makeup, and though I got there criminally late and generally just wanted to lie down and sleep, it was still very enjoyable. Had a few interesting conversations with this gorgeously cute guy who makes me wish I was into men. He’s practically married, probably would be if they did gay marriage in Norway, which sucks. I want him for myself, even if I don’t actually want to do anything to him. It’s just the attention whore in me, I suspect. And talking about this in public, even to myself, is probably stupid, but there you are. It’s the attention whore in me, etc.

And that concludes this week’s update. Next week: I get stressed about school things, and very likely go flat broke. Payday’s still two weeks away, and I’m spoiling hard for shopping. I’ve been wearing the same outfit for a month, because I don’t have anything else that looks anywhere near as good on me–fortunately, I’ve rotated the venues so most people haven’t noticed, but it’s starting to grow old. I’ve actually reached the point where I’m considering going out male just because then I’d at least have something new to wear (three beautiful TopatoCo T-shirts–THANK YOU JEFFREY ROWLAND).

But, as it turns out, I’d still rather look good in old clothes than look male in a super cute Doctor Monkey T-shirt, so there’s no immediate cause for alarm.

A Slow Week

Posted on the 26th of August 2007 at 20:50 by Bodil

I feel I ought to report on the week that just passed, but it’s been so uneventful, at least as far as the topic of this blog goes.

I went out, Chateau Neuf again, on Friday, sans the panic attack of last weekend, though admittedly a little nervous. No odd looks that I noticed, though, but I must admit I still tend to avoid crowded areas if I can. The doorman didn’t even ask to see my ID this time. I must be getting old.

Saturday was very enjoyable, though I was in male mode all day. I attended a talk by two people from the Pirate Bay and Piratbyrån, which was brilliant. I was going to meet some friends and hang out at their place afterwards, so I went home to change, and decided against it simply because it was cold outside and I didn’t have anything decently warm to wear in my girl wardrobe. Regretted it on the way there; it wasn’t really all that cold after all, it turned out. I still had a good time with wonderful people, so I don’t mind.

Oh, but there is one somewhat interesting thing I should mention. I was at work, had just been out for a smoke, and was climbing the stairs to the office lost in my own thoughts. There are sheets of glass at odd angles along the staircase, and as I reach the right floor I turn toward them and notice what I register as the reflection in the glass of a girl walking along the corridor inside. When the girl herself fails to appear in the corridor when I’d expect her to, I do a double take and realise I’ve been watching my own reflection, and assuming it was a woman because of the way said reflection moved. It was quite startling.

Saturday Night

Posted on the 19th of August 2007 at 21:47 by Bodil

The fall semester is starting at the University of Oslo, and traditionally the first two weeks involve serious amounts of drinking and partying for the students. Yesterday, I went with a group of friends to Chateau Neuf, which is the largest student venue in Oslo.

As I was about to start putting on makeup, I experienced a very powerful moment of self-doubt, and almost decided I would go out as a male. I was terrified someone was going to clock me and proceed to put me down verbally or assault me violently. I was even worried my friends would disapprove. I managed to pull myself together and change into Bodil, but I spent ten minutes working up the courage before actually going out the door, and actively avoided crowded areas (with lots of opportunities for being clocked) on the way to the tube. I was actually clocked a few times on the way there too–one or two shocked looks from people passing by that were quite unmistakable.

But I got on the tube without incident, and didn’t get any odd looks, at least that I noticed, during the ride. This helped me calm down and get into the right frame of mind, and by the time I arrived at my destination I was feeling confident. In fact, when I was asked for ID to get into the venue, which is always interesting, the guard misinterpreted my obvious amusement and asked if I was offended by having to prove I was over 18. Yeah, I’m 32, I dare say that’s been a very sweet compliment for a few years now. When I showed him my very male ID, though, he masked his surprise admirably well. My confidence was now pretty much soaring.

So I met up with my friends and had a great time. The highlight: a friend introduces me to a girl he’s hitting on, “this is Bodil, she’s a tranny” (ever so subtle, that one), and the girl responds, “no! I’d never have thought!” I hope he did well with her. I like her already. :)

Fell asleep on the couch without removing the makeup, which is becoming an annoying habit. Amazingly, no pimples today.